Letting Go

It seems my life is full of ‘letting go’ moments and I wonder to myself is this the same for others?

My head, so full of dreams and in particular, one little dream (my little secret).  Somehow, I find the dreams I have dreamt (and in particular that secret one) seem always to be just out of reach and  I’m torn between fanning into flame or letting go of these flickering little lights.

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The ‘bitter sweet’ angst of what to do?

Hold tight to faith and hope, moving slowly forward or should I just ‘wrap these little babies in a bubble and let them float gently away?’

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To bloom or not to bloom – If only it were that easy.

Entwined so securely in my heart, not wanting to dislodge…..is hat secret one!

I’m trying to let go but somewhere in my heart I feel like I’m giving up and abandoning the very essence of who I am and who I was made to be.  It just won’t leave!

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If I could truly let go, perhaps I could live  ‘IN this moment’ – in the moment quite completely and and possibly embrace rest more completely, stop yearning for something that may never be…. or worst still, perhaps was never meant for me?

And then, perhaps my friends would think of me – a little floating fairy or better still, angelic…. peaceful…restful…..if you know me you would also know that this would not be possible and I think that should this be so, I may just find myself so at rest that I would float off into a sea of deathly silence, a sea of not caring, a listless sea of “Ce Sera”! (from the Italian language-you can say it like this…..  “KAY– SER–RAH“) in other words “what ever will be will be“.

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At every ‘letting go’ turn I have agony and ecstasy both dropping their little lines into my pond. ….Agony telling me in her sweet sarcastic tone … ‘look at them, embracing their dreams…so much better than you and then dear sweet Ecstasy, gently encouraging me with her unexpected messages that seem to pop up at every turn ‘you go girl, never too old, never give up’.

And that is my dilemma and yet still I have peace.

 

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4 thoughts on “Letting Go

  1. Hello my friend, I always love reading your words. I thought to share this little gem of a scripture … and the commentary that explains what to do with our heart-embers.
    Luke 2:19 But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.

    The inwardness of Mary’s character
    Observe what may be called the inwardness of Mary’s character. On several occasions, when a common nature would have exulted, when vanity would have babbled, or when common wonder and doubt would have gone asking for explanations, it is said of her, “Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.” Now this would not have been repeated as it is, if it had not been a peculiarity and observable. This I call inwardness. There was a hush of awe about it, a disposition to keep a sacred thing sacred; to hide the depths of the heart away from common talk, and to keep their inexpressible-mess hidden to God; to keep all doubts and demurs submissively for His solution; to “judge nothing before the time”; to draw inward, and compose and hush the entire nature at the footstool of God; in short, her whole heart seems to have been expressed in the one sentence, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to Thy word.” (A. G. Mercer, D. D.)

  2. Ha! Thats so cool because this is one of the very scriptures I hold on to!! I often say those very words to myself “Mary Hid these things in her heart”. He knows and he see’s and in His time all things are made beautiful!! xx

  3. Ciao ciao bella…. So poignant… Threadbare…. Completely transparent… Your heart before your Papa is so tender, and raw, and vulnerable…. And He being the Almighty King of Kings that He is, must look down and see His precious girl, and I’m sure He must shed a tear at the journey you’ve been on…. But… He also looks upon you with deepest, most heartfelt compassion and walks with you ‘in’ your journey…. So, whether you ‘entrust them to Him’ for safe keeping, and maybe take them out again from time to time for a peek, just to see if it’s still your hearts desire… Or just give them to Him, full stop…. I don’t think He really minds… Just acknowledging that ‘He’s got this’ is all He really needs to know… I don’t think you need to either, or… He knows exactly what’s in His little girls heart.. And He loves you…. O, how He loves you…. And your example to everyone one of us, reading this precious post, is like the streets of heaven… All those incredible gem stones… Leading and guiding us, through your heartfelt transparency…. This is how it’s done… Through the ups and downs of life… You keep walking…. Weeping can last through the night…. But then, morning comes…. It’s a fact of life… And many many will rejoice with you, when your morning comes…. Love you la Mia bella sorella…. Always and always…. Keep on, keeping on… 🌹😘🌹

  4. Oh you sista’s are so very precious and so very encouraging. Love you all so dearly. How blessed are we all to have crossed paths in this ever-winding journey and even tho the distance now separates we are all kindred spirits. Look forward to seeing you all some time in the not to distant future xxxxx
    La sorelle grande voyagio!!

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